This Birth Story contains Heather's comments, as requested by Malia, because our birth memories, even immediately after, can be fuzzy and have a time-warp quality. My comments are in BOLD -Heather
Where to begin? That's the question. As I look back I see that there isn't a definitive starting line, rather a hazy, spiritual essence of a beginning that really started sometime around the 31st of January. I didn't realize it then, but that was the beginning of the process when my body and soul knew that you were coming. But the most significant and definitive beginning was on the morning of the 7th of February when I awoke at 1:30 stood up and felt something wet. I had lost some water. It was exciting, and I felt butterflies as I called Heather to give her the news. She congratulated me and calmly and wisely suggested that I get some sleep. Although I was having mild contractions on and off I was able to sleep that night. (Heather: In the morning, I came and you and I discussed options, and we talked about the law regarding broken waters and talked about the risks of broken waters and the myths, and made a plan... you had lots of bloody show and you were taking your temperature regularly, Sheridan was moving lots and doing well. You tried: homeopathics, breastpump, acupressure, and meditation/visualization, at 5:40 pm I came back and your contractions were 10-15 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute. You were doing homeopathics throughout these days.)
That day I continued to have contractions that would come and go, and as evening approached they subsided. I remember feeling slightly disappointed but also very patient, and knew that you would arrive in your own time. That night, I awoke again at 1:30 and this time I was awakened by more powerful contractions. At that time I just "knew" that you were coming. So I got up and did everything that I knew to do to encourage the contractions to remain and to strengthen. Alas, they subsided and I went back to sleep, and I dreamed that my sister came to me and said, "Sheridan is waiting for the right time, it must be at the right time". That gave me the greatest sense of peace and knowing that it was all okay. The day of the eighth is slightly hazy to me. I know that Heather was there and that we were using herbs, and castor oil (ew) to encourage contractions. I remember doing a lot of walking and also taking a nap in which I fell into the deepest sleep. (Heather: Here's what I have from the 8th- I came in the am bearing castor oil, (for taking internally and massaging on belly), checked all of your and baby's vitals, then I left and you tried a nap.)
That afternoon things started to progress. I continued to walk, and walk and walk. At one point I had Van Morrison on and Michael and I danced, it was a joyous and glorious dance. It was a dance to remember, one of love and of welcoming you!
( I came back at 4:20 pm and you had been eating well, but threw up from the 2nd castor oil dose at 1:15 pm. I remember that I made a sympathetic noise, and you said, "I'ts ok, I'm good at puking, it doesn't bother me". :)
I remember sitting on my ball and bouncing and walking the loop in the house and sitting and resting. At some point Heather checked and found that I was dilated (5 cm??? help on this Heather). (You were 4 cm, but opened to 6 during a contraction...you were very effaced- 90% and I could feel your bag of waters so we determined your water leak was from a high up spot or just one of the layers of the bag) We were a bit disappointed at that so she tried to manually dilate. (I only swept your membranes, which isn't the same as manual dilation, I just circled under your cervix between cervix and water bag, and your body really did it alone...This is when we tried herbs for the first (only) time because you were discouraged, it was 15 drops of black cohosh...but really, you were doing it!) I tried to get in the tub, but that was very uncomfortable. My back then began to hurt intensely with each contraction. My brain seemed stuck on only being dilated ?cm. Although I think some time had passed, to me it seemed like a very short while, so I wasn't aware that things were progressing.
After trying a few things, like Michael massaging and counter pressure and meditating (practicing my hypno-birthing techniques), I began to feel discouraged. I couldn't let go and felt that my fear and tenseness was what was causing the pain. I told Heather, "I don't know how to do this." She gave me some herbs and some encouragement. (Here's how I remember this moment in time, and what I wrote in your chart- you told me you were discouraged and a little afraid because of the unexpected back pain, and you mentioned that you had scoliosis. this was 11 pm, you had been mentioning back pain since 10 pm... I rubbed arnica cream on your lower back, and wrote that we did homeopathic pulsatilla then gelsemium at 11:40 pm.) I then felt the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. As I sat I became overwhelmed by this most powerful force that did not seem to be my own. My body began to push and my voice called out, both of which seemed to me to be completely involuntary.
When Heather came in I felt totally paralyzed. She gently coaxed me "Can you sit on the tub? Can you do this, that, etc" Finally it occurred to me somewhere in the back of my mind that if this soft spoken, accepting lady was asking me to do something that meant it was important (she wanted me out of the bathroom, of course). I got a rush and managed to walk to the bedroom where we had planned to have you. (This part is where I don't have much written down because I was busy moving the entire birth kit to the bathroom and then back to the birth room. :) I wrote "can't do this" at 12:40 am because when a mom says that midwives know it is soon! Then you went to the bathroom, and I wrote that you wanted to stay there and push but then I wrote that you found the ability to move back to bedroom...) The furthest (farthest ?) I made it, though was to the floor in front of the bed. I couldn't stand up straight let alone lay down on the bed, I was doubled over from my low back hurting. I tried to sit on Michael's lap, but he was too tall. So, I kneeled. It didn't seem like very much time passed from that point on. I felt like I was having contractions one right after the other. I felt like I was in another world. Everything looked so colorful and like it was swirling around like an impressionistic painting. I called to you to come. I felt my body surge and push and work all on its own. And I heard my voice call out. I remember feeling so hot and asking for ice, and Michael brought a whole bag. But I didn't want him to go get it because I didn't want him to leave because I knew you were coming.
Then I remember Heather asking me to not push, or to slow down, I think that is when you had crowned. Then I did one last push and out you came, right at 1:35. Heather handed you to me through my legs, and the most tremendous feeling of awe and love came over me. You were so beautiful. I took you in my arms and brought you immediately to my chest. Then held you out for a second to look at you. I have never felt so happy or so in love as I did in that moment.
Such a beautiful description of that amazing moment when meeting your baby. My only other memories were of stepping in the bowl of water or ice or something that spilled and having soggy socks, and that in typical form (for you), you thought it would still be a long time away so you sent Michael to bed some time around midnight, and then I had to yell into the bedroom to wake him up when you appeared to be ready to push :) I remember going back and forth to your house twice a day for 2 days, although on the 2nd day, the second time I stayed for good. I really loved how you maintained your calm and belief in the process throughout and even postpartum as you made your first decisions as a mom for your sweet girl. :)
And I remember the flat tire I got driving home. :)
Where to begin? That's the question. As I look back I see that there isn't a definitive starting line, rather a hazy, spiritual essence of a beginning that really started sometime around the 31st of January. I didn't realize it then, but that was the beginning of the process when my body and soul knew that you were coming. But the most significant and definitive beginning was on the morning of the 7th of February when I awoke at 1:30 stood up and felt something wet. I had lost some water. It was exciting, and I felt butterflies as I called Heather to give her the news. She congratulated me and calmly and wisely suggested that I get some sleep. Although I was having mild contractions on and off I was able to sleep that night. (Heather: In the morning, I came and you and I discussed options, and we talked about the law regarding broken waters and talked about the risks of broken waters and the myths, and made a plan... you had lots of bloody show and you were taking your temperature regularly, Sheridan was moving lots and doing well. You tried: homeopathics, breastpump, acupressure, and meditation/visualization, at 5:40 pm I came back and your contractions were 10-15 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute. You were doing homeopathics throughout these days.)
That day I continued to have contractions that would come and go, and as evening approached they subsided. I remember feeling slightly disappointed but also very patient, and knew that you would arrive in your own time. That night, I awoke again at 1:30 and this time I was awakened by more powerful contractions. At that time I just "knew" that you were coming. So I got up and did everything that I knew to do to encourage the contractions to remain and to strengthen. Alas, they subsided and I went back to sleep, and I dreamed that my sister came to me and said, "Sheridan is waiting for the right time, it must be at the right time". That gave me the greatest sense of peace and knowing that it was all okay. The day of the eighth is slightly hazy to me. I know that Heather was there and that we were using herbs, and castor oil (ew) to encourage contractions. I remember doing a lot of walking and also taking a nap in which I fell into the deepest sleep. (Heather: Here's what I have from the 8th- I came in the am bearing castor oil, (for taking internally and massaging on belly), checked all of your and baby's vitals, then I left and you tried a nap.)
That afternoon things started to progress. I continued to walk, and walk and walk. At one point I had Van Morrison on and Michael and I danced, it was a joyous and glorious dance. It was a dance to remember, one of love and of welcoming you!
( I came back at 4:20 pm and you had been eating well, but threw up from the 2nd castor oil dose at 1:15 pm. I remember that I made a sympathetic noise, and you said, "I'ts ok, I'm good at puking, it doesn't bother me". :)
I remember sitting on my ball and bouncing and walking the loop in the house and sitting and resting. At some point Heather checked and found that I was dilated (5 cm??? help on this Heather). (You were 4 cm, but opened to 6 during a contraction...you were very effaced- 90% and I could feel your bag of waters so we determined your water leak was from a high up spot or just one of the layers of the bag) We were a bit disappointed at that so she tried to manually dilate. (I only swept your membranes, which isn't the same as manual dilation, I just circled under your cervix between cervix and water bag, and your body really did it alone...This is when we tried herbs for the first (only) time because you were discouraged, it was 15 drops of black cohosh...but really, you were doing it!) I tried to get in the tub, but that was very uncomfortable. My back then began to hurt intensely with each contraction. My brain seemed stuck on only being dilated ?cm. Although I think some time had passed, to me it seemed like a very short while, so I wasn't aware that things were progressing.
After trying a few things, like Michael massaging and counter pressure and meditating (practicing my hypno-birthing techniques), I began to feel discouraged. I couldn't let go and felt that my fear and tenseness was what was causing the pain. I told Heather, "I don't know how to do this." She gave me some herbs and some encouragement. (Here's how I remember this moment in time, and what I wrote in your chart- you told me you were discouraged and a little afraid because of the unexpected back pain, and you mentioned that you had scoliosis. this was 11 pm, you had been mentioning back pain since 10 pm... I rubbed arnica cream on your lower back, and wrote that we did homeopathic pulsatilla then gelsemium at 11:40 pm.) I then felt the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. As I sat I became overwhelmed by this most powerful force that did not seem to be my own. My body began to push and my voice called out, both of which seemed to me to be completely involuntary.
When Heather came in I felt totally paralyzed. She gently coaxed me "Can you sit on the tub? Can you do this, that, etc" Finally it occurred to me somewhere in the back of my mind that if this soft spoken, accepting lady was asking me to do something that meant it was important (she wanted me out of the bathroom, of course). I got a rush and managed to walk to the bedroom where we had planned to have you. (This part is where I don't have much written down because I was busy moving the entire birth kit to the bathroom and then back to the birth room. :) I wrote "can't do this" at 12:40 am because when a mom says that midwives know it is soon! Then you went to the bathroom, and I wrote that you wanted to stay there and push but then I wrote that you found the ability to move back to bedroom...) The furthest (farthest ?) I made it, though was to the floor in front of the bed. I couldn't stand up straight let alone lay down on the bed, I was doubled over from my low back hurting. I tried to sit on Michael's lap, but he was too tall. So, I kneeled. It didn't seem like very much time passed from that point on. I felt like I was having contractions one right after the other. I felt like I was in another world. Everything looked so colorful and like it was swirling around like an impressionistic painting. I called to you to come. I felt my body surge and push and work all on its own. And I heard my voice call out. I remember feeling so hot and asking for ice, and Michael brought a whole bag. But I didn't want him to go get it because I didn't want him to leave because I knew you were coming.
Then I remember Heather asking me to not push, or to slow down, I think that is when you had crowned. Then I did one last push and out you came, right at 1:35. Heather handed you to me through my legs, and the most tremendous feeling of awe and love came over me. You were so beautiful. I took you in my arms and brought you immediately to my chest. Then held you out for a second to look at you. I have never felt so happy or so in love as I did in that moment.
Such a beautiful description of that amazing moment when meeting your baby. My only other memories were of stepping in the bowl of water or ice or something that spilled and having soggy socks, and that in typical form (for you), you thought it would still be a long time away so you sent Michael to bed some time around midnight, and then I had to yell into the bedroom to wake him up when you appeared to be ready to push :) I remember going back and forth to your house twice a day for 2 days, although on the 2nd day, the second time I stayed for good. I really loved how you maintained your calm and belief in the process throughout and even postpartum as you made your first decisions as a mom for your sweet girl. :)
And I remember the flat tire I got driving home. :)
